This morning I had the opportunity to hike with my dog in beautiful Breckenridge, Colorado. If you are able to remove yourself from your environment and head to nature it lends itself to present moment awareness. I define mindfulness as being present in one's moment to moment experience without judgement, ridicule, or comparison. Being in nature is the perfect backdrop to mindfulness. In nature...we find our nature. In stillness...we find our stillness.
I created several simple breathing techniques while we were hiking that I wanted to share before I forget. The following two mantras can be used all together as one verse or as two separate verses. Each line is a breath - breath in (one), breath out (two).
In the now
In the body
I Am
Home
Nothing to do
Nowhere to go
I Am
Home
In fairness, I spent almost a week at a Mindfulness for Educators retreat where I learned some new techniques that I assume have their roots in Zen Buddhism. Well, either that or rooted in Thich Nhat Hahn who is rooted in Zen Buddhism...he loves his Buddha for sure. The immersion in Zen Buddhism was eye opening, but the experience was amazing (and I probably wouldn't have gone had I known). I know for myself I found mindfulness practice, as a mental health provider, linked to dialectical behavior therapy. When I began researching mindfulness I practiced it myself, and the results were so clear and immediate that I started teaching it to students.
The breathing practices could be taught in a classroom or practiced on your own. If you teach the practice in a classroom you should first practice them on your own (I'm sure you have that one figured out). To refer to the title of this blog it has to do with an experience I had earlier in the week. I had a bad day...a baaaaaaad day. With mindfulness I have learned to 'ride the wave' of discomfort. In the midst of the emotional wrecking ball of mistakes, doubt, and fear...mindfulness practice has allowed for a deeper sense of knowing that the wave is part of something much bigger.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
A Deeper Space of Knowing
Mindfulness practice allows one to live life from a deeper space or sense of knowing. Somewhere I saw two models of how we learn compared to one another. In the traditional model, if I am recalling correctly, it was a linear path of growth. In the non traditional model it showed a beginning and then a slightly concave line to an end and then the line returned to the beginning and the concave part went deeper....and it continued on like this...returning to a beginning and growing deeper each time.
Brene Brown seems to have exposed the concepts of shame and vulnerability in her research...(if you haven't seen her Ted talks on these subjects you might like to...she also wrote a book called 'Daring Greatly'). I liken the 'return to the beginning' to vulnerability. Brene connects vulnerability to courage. It is courageous to return to a beginning. When we allow ourselves to do this, we grow deeper...and when we allow ourselves to do it again...we grow deeper...and again...and deeper still.
Maybe the idea of 'returning to the beginning' has to do with the yoga term 'beginner's mind.' When we choose to have a beginner's mind we consciously bring fresh eyes into our moment to moment experience. A popular social emotional curriculum uses the term 'one up'. Within the curriculum (in the pages that we skip through to get to the lesson) there is a section that explains the concept of 'one up' and how to embed the concept into our teaching. The section is written for the facilitators of the lessons to recognize our own need to 'one up' those that we are instructing and to release ourselves from the whole idea of being 'more than' those we are instructing. In a recent back to school teacher's meeting we were all asked to share what teacher in our life had made a difference. One of the teachers answered 'the students have been my greatest teacher.' I agreed.
In the busyness of a school environment it's easy to dismiss the depth of a concept and quickly attach a meaning that makes sense to us. This is how we live out our lives when we are not mindful to reconnect to our deeper space...the space that connects us to a deeper sense of knowing. An experienced school employee taught the curriculum that I spoke of in the previous paragraph. We taught it together and when I mentioned the need for us as facilitators to relate to the 'one up' principle...the other person assumed 'one up' meant that the students shouldn't try to 'one up' the other students with a better story as they shared out in the class. In the context of a school environment it is unlikely that the depth of 'one up' was going to be considered during a quick conversation in the hallway as we walked to the classroom together. The deeper meaning of a simple concept which had the potential to bring us back to another beginning and an opportunity to grow deeper was lost in the hurriedness of the day to day experience.
Perhaps our beginner's mind will allow us to consider the idea of growing deeper within as opposed to growing further without - that the growth path of a human being comes from growing deeper inside ourselves as we develop the courage to constantly begin again and look at our life situations with openness. I Am. Attached to nothing and open to everything. Vulnerability is courage.
Brene Brown seems to have exposed the concepts of shame and vulnerability in her research...(if you haven't seen her Ted talks on these subjects you might like to...she also wrote a book called 'Daring Greatly'). I liken the 'return to the beginning' to vulnerability. Brene connects vulnerability to courage. It is courageous to return to a beginning. When we allow ourselves to do this, we grow deeper...and when we allow ourselves to do it again...we grow deeper...and again...and deeper still.
Maybe the idea of 'returning to the beginning' has to do with the yoga term 'beginner's mind.' When we choose to have a beginner's mind we consciously bring fresh eyes into our moment to moment experience. A popular social emotional curriculum uses the term 'one up'. Within the curriculum (in the pages that we skip through to get to the lesson) there is a section that explains the concept of 'one up' and how to embed the concept into our teaching. The section is written for the facilitators of the lessons to recognize our own need to 'one up' those that we are instructing and to release ourselves from the whole idea of being 'more than' those we are instructing. In a recent back to school teacher's meeting we were all asked to share what teacher in our life had made a difference. One of the teachers answered 'the students have been my greatest teacher.' I agreed.
In the busyness of a school environment it's easy to dismiss the depth of a concept and quickly attach a meaning that makes sense to us. This is how we live out our lives when we are not mindful to reconnect to our deeper space...the space that connects us to a deeper sense of knowing. An experienced school employee taught the curriculum that I spoke of in the previous paragraph. We taught it together and when I mentioned the need for us as facilitators to relate to the 'one up' principle...the other person assumed 'one up' meant that the students shouldn't try to 'one up' the other students with a better story as they shared out in the class. In the context of a school environment it is unlikely that the depth of 'one up' was going to be considered during a quick conversation in the hallway as we walked to the classroom together. The deeper meaning of a simple concept which had the potential to bring us back to another beginning and an opportunity to grow deeper was lost in the hurriedness of the day to day experience.
Perhaps our beginner's mind will allow us to consider the idea of growing deeper within as opposed to growing further without - that the growth path of a human being comes from growing deeper inside ourselves as we develop the courage to constantly begin again and look at our life situations with openness. I Am. Attached to nothing and open to everything. Vulnerability is courage.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Accidental Zen
Stop. Bring your awareness to your breath. Hello breath. Smile. Just notice your breath. Now follow the whole of your breath: "I breathe in I follow my in breath...I breathe out I follow my out breath...in...out." Do that three times. All done.
Several years ago I sat in my office at school...discouraged. I began working as a school social worker (SSW) six years ago...prior to that I was a PE/health teacher that turned health teacher. I loved teaching the social and emotional aspects of the health class. I went back to school to learn more after spending three years at a school in southern California where the students taught me...sharing situations and experiences that I had only read about or watched on TV.
The crisis work as a SSW came easy for some reason. However, when the crisis cleared and the student was in my office I felt limited. I didn't know how to help. I knew that no matter how long a meeting lasted and how wonderful the 'plan' looked, or if we transported the student to the hospital for safety concerns, or if a phone call home was made and parents picked their student up...I couldn't stop the nagging feeling within me that asked: 'what changed?...what will be different?...what did I teach that student that will help him/her manage their situation more effectively?'
Frustrated and determined I recall googling something about 'teaching skills to at risk youth'. I recall finding a short list that I wrote down and taped inside my front desk drawer: anxiety reduction skills, mindfulness, recognizing emotions. I felt a bit more in control having a narrowed list of specific skills that I would develop with the students I spent time with...I didn't know what mindfulness was...but the other two I knew I could work on and that was a place to start.
If you know me or have read any of my previous blogs you will know where I am headed in this post. Mindfulness. Attention to breath. Notice. I breathe in...I breathe out. The complexity of the frustration I had felt was answered in such a simple way - return to breath. Reset your central nervous system. Create space within to allow one's alignment with nature to reveal itself. I read something yesterday that said: 'A good therapist (you could arguably insert teacher or parent) coaches nature.' I think that is beautiful.
I have become passionate about practicing mindfulness (I actually discovered it on my own path to inner peace). I have become passionate about teaching the skills of mindfulness and applied thinking to the young people I have the opportunity to work with. I have developed a passion for teachers...and self care. The expectations for teachers exceed what is realistic...yet there seems to be an unrealistic idea (or toxic mental tendency) to strive to 'get it all done.' In schools the phrase 'what's best for kids' is often heard. Let's take a moment to draw our awareness to breath (see first paragraph) and visualize what that looks like. What is truly best for kids? Is functioning on six hours of sleep truly best for kids? What is best for you is best for those you interact with...best for the greater good of all living beings. 'We cannot give from an empty vessel or drink from an empty well...'
"Some say that my teaching is nonsense.
Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves,
this nonsense makes perfect sense."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMr4kLsUux8
Several years ago I sat in my office at school...discouraged. I began working as a school social worker (SSW) six years ago...prior to that I was a PE/health teacher that turned health teacher. I loved teaching the social and emotional aspects of the health class. I went back to school to learn more after spending three years at a school in southern California where the students taught me...sharing situations and experiences that I had only read about or watched on TV.
The crisis work as a SSW came easy for some reason. However, when the crisis cleared and the student was in my office I felt limited. I didn't know how to help. I knew that no matter how long a meeting lasted and how wonderful the 'plan' looked, or if we transported the student to the hospital for safety concerns, or if a phone call home was made and parents picked their student up...I couldn't stop the nagging feeling within me that asked: 'what changed?...what will be different?...what did I teach that student that will help him/her manage their situation more effectively?'
Frustrated and determined I recall googling something about 'teaching skills to at risk youth'. I recall finding a short list that I wrote down and taped inside my front desk drawer: anxiety reduction skills, mindfulness, recognizing emotions. I felt a bit more in control having a narrowed list of specific skills that I would develop with the students I spent time with...I didn't know what mindfulness was...but the other two I knew I could work on and that was a place to start.
If you know me or have read any of my previous blogs you will know where I am headed in this post. Mindfulness. Attention to breath. Notice. I breathe in...I breathe out. The complexity of the frustration I had felt was answered in such a simple way - return to breath. Reset your central nervous system. Create space within to allow one's alignment with nature to reveal itself. I read something yesterday that said: 'A good therapist (you could arguably insert teacher or parent) coaches nature.' I think that is beautiful.
I have become passionate about practicing mindfulness (I actually discovered it on my own path to inner peace). I have become passionate about teaching the skills of mindfulness and applied thinking to the young people I have the opportunity to work with. I have developed a passion for teachers...and self care. The expectations for teachers exceed what is realistic...yet there seems to be an unrealistic idea (or toxic mental tendency) to strive to 'get it all done.' In schools the phrase 'what's best for kids' is often heard. Let's take a moment to draw our awareness to breath (see first paragraph) and visualize what that looks like. What is truly best for kids? Is functioning on six hours of sleep truly best for kids? What is best for you is best for those you interact with...best for the greater good of all living beings. 'We cannot give from an empty vessel or drink from an empty well...'
"Some say that my teaching is nonsense.
Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves,
this nonsense makes perfect sense."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMr4kLsUux8
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Letting Go...Connecting to
'I heal and grow in the present moment.'
In my perfect world I teach social and emotional learning that is largely based on the skills of mindfulness and applied thinking...and then blog about it. Mindfulness is a practice that helps us feel grounded and present in our bodies. Mindfulness practice creates the conditions for a person to observe their thoughts, feelings, sensations, and impulses. As we practice this awareness (mindfulness being awareness and awareness being bigger than our thoughts since we can observe more than just our thinking when we are intentionally aware) we can then learn the principle or idea of applied thinking. Applied thinking to my mind means that when we notice thoughts that limit us we can: 1. purposefully change the thought to one that is more manageable and doesn't 'take away' from our experience (this takes practice then it becomes a habit...like most things), 2. consider what these thoughts are linked to (a belief?) and then consider the belief and how it could be changed or shifted to add to one's experience as opposed to limit one's experience (and ultimately contribute to the greater good).
A young person in my life whom I love very much told me several years ago that she would not go hiking with me because she just 'wasn't a nature girl.' Huh...wuh? Does a person under the age of ten really have this figured out? That's a low end example of which there are numerous ways each of us limit ourselves on a regular basis. Other larger examples would be based on our more entrenched and exclusive (as in 'exclude'...not 'This is an exclusive party for top execs only.' -- obviously they mean the same thing but one of those examples many of us have become in awe of instead of aware of) beliefs that include politics, religion, culture, education, etc. etc. I'll give you a few examples...except that I won't...not jumping off that ledge.
Instead of having a conversation about limited beliefs around politics and religion I much prefer to confuse the hell out of you and talk about a meditation around letting go and connecting to. Right on!
So I do this mindfulness practice that includes imagining oneself lying in a field or being suspended in the ocean (the latter I only do with select audiences - being in water could be horribly anxiety producing to some - I personally love the feeling of being suspended in deep water...without sharks). Anyway, we create this experience of safety, peace, comfort as we imagine it with our eyes closed and then let go of the field or water and then let go of the physical body. So you can imagine this - if you shut your eyes you can get the general idea. These experiences are best considered by drawing awareness from your heart center rather than mind (the mind has already told you to stop reading this because it makes no sense...however, the internet and electricity make a lot of sense).
I often use phrases like 'bring your awareness out of your mind and into your heart' which makes total sense to me. Another person who I am quite close to and also love very much was visiting and I made a comment about heart awareness. This person gave me nothing! No pause. No consideration. I got a 'what did you just say?'...'well that's just crazy...I'm not buying that.' Hopefully I wasn't selling (?)
Anyway...back to letting go of our physical space. So you can imagine the darkness and now the feeling of connectedness (?) This darkness is infinite - no beginning and no end. We then take that darkness and draw it into our core....(and then go back into our body, into the field, into the chair we are sitting on...). So now we can imagine this infinite 'space' in the core of our body. Within this space lies the creative ideas, inspired thoughts, and unlimited possibilities that I constantly mention in posts. I have trained myself to belly breathe and imagine this space in my belly and repeat 'creative ideas, inspired thoughts, unlimited possibilities' and it brings me to peace in an instant...or at least gets me out of what could become a spiral of negativity and self doubt.
I interrupt to say that three women just ran by (I am sitting outside in the front of my place) and I heard one say: 'Okay...so you already have bad sex...'. I wonder how the rest of that went.
The last consideration I want to share (and I will expand on in other typings) is about a person's story. This comment may draw criticism however I am only hoping to offer ideas and not arguments. So the question is: How relevant is a person's story? Take a breath. When we are in a school setting or clinical setting and we are interviewing and getting all this information - to what extent is it truly relevant? (I think I know the answer to that...so I'm not really asking...I'm allowing for a broader context that would contribute to an overall belief). What I'm getting at goes back to the first line of this post, 'I heal and grow in the present moment.' I'm going to go yoga on you here (I so wish I could claim yoga...I want to be a cool yogi so bad...obviously not bad enough to attend class on a regular basis)....so in yoga they say to have a 'beginner's mind'. A beginner's mind being a fresh perspective in the moment. Having a conversation with a friend that is truly rooted in the present moment without considering past comments that were hurtful or assumptions about what the other might be thinking or how the other might react - a fresh, new moment deplete of all the many things that we often bring with us that take away from a true, authentic connection. So when working with alternative youth if we are constantly considering the 'story' are we creating a moment that allows for healing and growth? When we feel sorry for someone and rush to 'do things' for the person who has the 'sad story' (or on the other end...rush to do things for the wealthy family?) are we contributing to healing and growth or indirectly limiting? Obviously there is a place for empathy and being nice. If you are willing...let's really challenge our belief about the dignity and worth of all human beings...if this belief is entrenched to the same extent that 'water is wet' how is that evident? This idea is just something to consider...please don't add negative energy to your body in opposition and a desire to argue...unless you can separate arguing and negative energy. Consider or let go...pretty please.
'And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to bloom.'
In my perfect world I teach social and emotional learning that is largely based on the skills of mindfulness and applied thinking...and then blog about it. Mindfulness is a practice that helps us feel grounded and present in our bodies. Mindfulness practice creates the conditions for a person to observe their thoughts, feelings, sensations, and impulses. As we practice this awareness (mindfulness being awareness and awareness being bigger than our thoughts since we can observe more than just our thinking when we are intentionally aware) we can then learn the principle or idea of applied thinking. Applied thinking to my mind means that when we notice thoughts that limit us we can: 1. purposefully change the thought to one that is more manageable and doesn't 'take away' from our experience (this takes practice then it becomes a habit...like most things), 2. consider what these thoughts are linked to (a belief?) and then consider the belief and how it could be changed or shifted to add to one's experience as opposed to limit one's experience (and ultimately contribute to the greater good).
A young person in my life whom I love very much told me several years ago that she would not go hiking with me because she just 'wasn't a nature girl.' Huh...wuh? Does a person under the age of ten really have this figured out? That's a low end example of which there are numerous ways each of us limit ourselves on a regular basis. Other larger examples would be based on our more entrenched and exclusive (as in 'exclude'...not 'This is an exclusive party for top execs only.' -- obviously they mean the same thing but one of those examples many of us have become in awe of instead of aware of) beliefs that include politics, religion, culture, education, etc. etc. I'll give you a few examples...except that I won't...not jumping off that ledge.
Instead of having a conversation about limited beliefs around politics and religion I much prefer to confuse the hell out of you and talk about a meditation around letting go and connecting to. Right on!
So I do this mindfulness practice that includes imagining oneself lying in a field or being suspended in the ocean (the latter I only do with select audiences - being in water could be horribly anxiety producing to some - I personally love the feeling of being suspended in deep water...without sharks). Anyway, we create this experience of safety, peace, comfort as we imagine it with our eyes closed and then let go of the field or water and then let go of the physical body. So you can imagine this - if you shut your eyes you can get the general idea. These experiences are best considered by drawing awareness from your heart center rather than mind (the mind has already told you to stop reading this because it makes no sense...however, the internet and electricity make a lot of sense).
I often use phrases like 'bring your awareness out of your mind and into your heart' which makes total sense to me. Another person who I am quite close to and also love very much was visiting and I made a comment about heart awareness. This person gave me nothing! No pause. No consideration. I got a 'what did you just say?'...'well that's just crazy...I'm not buying that.' Hopefully I wasn't selling (?)
Anyway...back to letting go of our physical space. So you can imagine the darkness and now the feeling of connectedness (?) This darkness is infinite - no beginning and no end. We then take that darkness and draw it into our core....(and then go back into our body, into the field, into the chair we are sitting on...). So now we can imagine this infinite 'space' in the core of our body. Within this space lies the creative ideas, inspired thoughts, and unlimited possibilities that I constantly mention in posts. I have trained myself to belly breathe and imagine this space in my belly and repeat 'creative ideas, inspired thoughts, unlimited possibilities' and it brings me to peace in an instant...or at least gets me out of what could become a spiral of negativity and self doubt.
I interrupt to say that three women just ran by (I am sitting outside in the front of my place) and I heard one say: 'Okay...so you already have bad sex...'. I wonder how the rest of that went.
The last consideration I want to share (and I will expand on in other typings) is about a person's story. This comment may draw criticism however I am only hoping to offer ideas and not arguments. So the question is: How relevant is a person's story? Take a breath. When we are in a school setting or clinical setting and we are interviewing and getting all this information - to what extent is it truly relevant? (I think I know the answer to that...so I'm not really asking...I'm allowing for a broader context that would contribute to an overall belief). What I'm getting at goes back to the first line of this post, 'I heal and grow in the present moment.' I'm going to go yoga on you here (I so wish I could claim yoga...I want to be a cool yogi so bad...obviously not bad enough to attend class on a regular basis)....so in yoga they say to have a 'beginner's mind'. A beginner's mind being a fresh perspective in the moment. Having a conversation with a friend that is truly rooted in the present moment without considering past comments that were hurtful or assumptions about what the other might be thinking or how the other might react - a fresh, new moment deplete of all the many things that we often bring with us that take away from a true, authentic connection. So when working with alternative youth if we are constantly considering the 'story' are we creating a moment that allows for healing and growth? When we feel sorry for someone and rush to 'do things' for the person who has the 'sad story' (or on the other end...rush to do things for the wealthy family?) are we contributing to healing and growth or indirectly limiting? Obviously there is a place for empathy and being nice. If you are willing...let's really challenge our belief about the dignity and worth of all human beings...if this belief is entrenched to the same extent that 'water is wet' how is that evident? This idea is just something to consider...please don't add negative energy to your body in opposition and a desire to argue...unless you can separate arguing and negative energy. Consider or let go...pretty please.
'And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to bloom.'
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