Living in the Flow

I feel as if I had a cool epiphany this morning and I desire to share it in the most simplistic way. I copied three statements from my previous blog, Best. Year. Yet., and I'll offer simple ideas to build on them in a personal way. I suppose 'simple' is a relative term. Take your time...deep breath...here we go:

"Effective programs in personal development all seem to be based on the natural laws of the universe. Brilliant. These laws are in effect whether or not we choose to have awareness of them or not."

So for this blog post and for simplicity sake, let's refer to what is often named 'God' as the energy of pure potentiality that is pervasive throughout all life. That idea seems to be most inclusive for all existence. Let's assume that that energy is one of unconditional 'love' (another word used to define something we feel and experience within, rather than find or touch or speak - a feeling of expansion, light, and flow). So let's say that the energy of pure potentiality is a mystery and is as empty as it is full. Now let's examine existence as we may think we know it. To exist, 'life' is governed by principles or laws that are always at work. Period. So...maybe an example would be that water turns into ice at a certain temperature, whether or not it becomes a potentially dangerous iceberg or an icecube to refresh a glass of water. The point is that these laws are indendent of our concepts of good and bad. So knowing these laws and becoming aligned with these laws can align us all with 'peace' (assuming that is our collective desire) or flow within that will then reflect or be projected externally.

Since I am no scientist, let's just use one simple law that we all know: cause and effect. Imagine drawing a circle and insert the word cause on one side and the word effect on the other side, adding arrows that demonstrate that cause leads to effect and effect leads to cause, showing a continuous cycle. I'm no graphic artist either otherwise I would show you what I am envisioning! 

So this makes sense as far as stimulus and response like Pavlov's dog. In that example, we can see how habitual patterns get programmed into our subconscious. Stimulus can be anything, yet to my mind we react to our sensory perception of 'said' stimulus. For example, we can assume that a stimulus is a person maybe, yet the person is causing a sensory experience or felt sense that our cells or nervous system is reacting to (our internal physiology does not know the person anymore than the message the nervous system is receiving from the sensory experience of that person). 

When we talk about mindfulness or meditation, the practice helps us slow down and align mind, body, and spirit so that we can recognize the patterns that have been created, and undo false belief systems, paradigms/mindsets that are contributing to limited thinking patterns keeping us from our fullest expression of who we are here to be. If you think of yourself (originally) as a seed you could consider the conditions of the mind that are either helping or limiting growth and full expression. 

You may have heard a saying like,"change your thoughts, change your life". So that would be getting aligned with this law and changing thoughts as stimulus to change the effect. 

Okay...this was my aha moment this morning: create the effect, or the desired feeling, which in turn would change the 'cause' or the external experience or stimulus. Does that make sense? This is a real typical skill in personal development, visualization. Effective visualization is really centering oneself and creating the feeling, the sounds, the images, of the desired effect. So this is not a new concept, I just never saw the deeper connection to the law of cause and effect. Personally, I focused on noticing the 'cause' and allowing for a space, and then changing the cause (a limited belief perhaps) to 'feel' better. In this example, my awareness or my focus is not fully on the effect...even though that's what my desire is: to feel open and free, to live authentically. This brings us to intention...

"Another word you hear a lot in personal development is (the) setting (of) an ‘intention’. When we intentionally align with these laws we align with the energy flow that is always available, yet often and unknowingly, we are living in resistance to it."

Are you getting it? When we intentionally bring our awareness or focus onto the 'effect' we desire: ex.what does feeling good look like? (create the image in your mind)...what does feeling good feel like? (create the feeling or sensation - get it? our nervous system responds to sensory input)...what does it sound like? (create or notice sounds that feel good - or feel open, free, expansive, light - which is why music can be such a healing and joyful experience as it is a felt experience and our nervous system responds accordingly). Again, when we intentionally bring our awareness or focus onto the 'effect' we desire, we co create the 'cause' or what is happening. The key here is to not be attached to the outcome. Have you heard the saying, "you come up with the 'what' and allow the universe to come up with the 'how' "? Or in this example, come up with the desired outcome which in all cases can be broken down into a felt experience: desire a new car? what felt experience are you anticipating with that new car? focus on that. Want to win? what felt experience does winning give you? focus on that. Desire to fall in love? Rather than attaching to a specific person or type of person, focus on the feeling you desire and create the 'effect' and be open to the 'cause'. This concept is based on trust, not doubt.

"One of the lessons BYY teaches is the principled teaching of action and attitude. When our behavior matches our truest desire we align with the natural flow of life."

Would this concept of action and attitude be a 'principled teaching' because it is exactly aligned with the law of cause and effect? And when we intentionally align with the law, then we are living in the flow of the energy of pure potentiality and therefore are the co creators of our inner experience, which dictates external experience - or the experience of external experience. External experience will always include the range or spectrum of the human experience. Things happen. Our experience of the 'things' that happen is different when we are the observer of the human condition and can live in a reflective space as opposed to assuming one is the external experience and feeling as if 'things' are happening to us, having no control of our own. Living in the external experience creates fear, whereas living from the internal experience is (true) love or flow.


Lastly, action is movement. Flow is movement. To create anything evokes action or movement. I'm going to risk contradicting myself, yet one can desire an outcome without being attached to it. Right? Do you know what you are moving toward?

bestyearyet.com

Best. Year. Yet.

Three years ago I am fairly certain I was having an existential crisis. It wasn't so much that I was unhappy as I was so unsettled internally. The 'voice in my head' was incessant. I felt as though I was doing the things I was supposed to do to some extent; oddly, I would get up early to run, and in the peace and quiet of dawn, the voice was the loudest. In hindsight, I can see how that time was the turning point to living a life that I was being pulled toward rather than being pushed by. Three years and many creative efforts later I have been lead to Best Year Yet. BYY could be considered old school, but that would be like saying Yoga is old school. Is a centuries old practice that is relevant and life changing considered old school? Effective programs in personal development all seem to be based on the natural laws of the universe. Brilliant. These laws are in effect whether or not we choose to have awareness of them or not. Stephen Covey and Deepak Chopra continually reference these laws. Another word you hear a lot in personal development is setting an ‘intention’. When we use 'intention' to align with these laws we align with the energy flow that is always available, yet often and unknowingly, we are living in resistance to it. I was so skeptical of a simple goal setting program to be of value. Although, being ‘pulled’ I met Laurie Oswald on a walk and was introduced to the program. That introduction lead to being coached through the program by Cathey Stamps. The magic of a time-tested, principled-based program was unmistakeable. All of the creativity and desire that I prided myself on was suddenly channeled into a one page plan. It was as if my ideas all of a sudden had a simple step by step recipe. One of the lessons BYY teaches is the principled teaching of action and attitude. When our behavior matches our truest desire we align with the natural flow of life. BYY founder, Jinny Ditzler, refers to this as living a 'results driven' life. Like Google, we can 'Search Inside Our Self'....then what?

bestyearyet.com

Peace: Inside - Out

Wow.

I just listened to an 8 minute video by Seane Corn. I registered for an online conference called 'Yoga is...' and this was a promotional video on the topic, 'How to deal with limiting beliefs and the tools you can use to release them.'

Here are some 'peaces' of her talk (ha):

If I want peace to be made manifest on a national or global level, then I have to recognize the ways in which I am not actually engaging peacefully in my own life.

The activist's role or quest is to take accountability to recognize the ways in which we are complicit in perpetuating separation...and healing those perspectives in ourselves so that when we look at the world, we are able to engage in a way that is more spiritually literate, and actually make a difference...not by telling our leaders how they need to change, but actually stepping into roles of leadership ourselves and from the inside-out helping to develop policy that puts humanity first.

We have to recognize the ways that we participate in creating continued separation and have the hard conversations around race, class, sex, gender, ageism, ableism...all of that.

If we're not looking at that within ourselves, (asking): 'What have (I) learned? What do (I) believe? How was that indoctrinated within (my) body-mind? How did I pick up information based on my culture, my education, my religion, my ancestry... the system that influences the way I see the 'other' as different?

When I can take accountability and sit with it in my own body... (and) choose to learn about some of these perceptions that are oppressive, and choose not to enact that oppression onto an 'other'..., then maybe peace wouldn't just be possible, but perhaps it would be inevitable. 

The individual influences the collective, the collective is what makes up the systems, the 'systems' is what needs to be changed, because very often our systems are what are creating these continued levels of oppression that create such a huge divide amongst human beings based on things like color, like religion, like gender, like sexuality.

And so the true spiritual activist doesn't just point that finger outward, but looks at the other three fingers pointing inward at themselves and says 'let me do my work' and simultaneously look at the world around us and say 'how do I make a change' by the ways in which I engage from a place of love, compassion, empathy,...and be willing to use my voice as a way that empowers not just me and my own limited experience, but all beings. 

Um...
that's all I wanted to share (emoticon).

Desire. A Weekend Rant.

‘Whatever else we are, no matter how much of a mess we may have made of our lives, it is always possible to tap into the part of the soul that is universal, the infinite field of pure potential, and change the course of our destiny.’

I stumbled upon the book, 'The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire' (for obvious reasons) as I was loitering in one of the used book sections at Tattered Cover on Colfax. It was no coincidence that I was having a spontaneous moment of desire when I found it - ha.

Anyway, the book is 'connecting dots' in many ways for me - but when I read this above quote I ripped the bottom corner of the page to be certain I wouldn't forget where I read it.

I work with kids and I want to know this statement is true because it makes sense as to why I would even show up to do this 'job' I have. What's more - I want it for myself. For a person to think that their job with children is to teach them what's true and right because you have it mastered, is a set up for perpetual failure and reinforcement of all things that are so grossly incongruent with what we know as truth when we allow ourselves to be okay with a deeper space of unknowing (which oddly - or not oddly at all - seems to be the space where we know).

That was a mouthful. I think it might have something to do with being open to the humility of true humanity - when we surrender to not knowing...we somehow know.

In almost any moment it seems we have this incredible opportunity to explore our inner world. To do this we would have to access a certain stillness. If up to 95% of our conditioned patterns of behavior are housed in the subconscious, and the subconscious is housed in the body (ie. not the brain/mind), it seems very unlikely that we could shift our external perceptions and create meaningful change without first allowing to intimately know ourselves from a deeper space within.

The more we look for external ways to access this inner relationship, the more disappointing it can become. Developing a trust in our own wisdom and intuition related to this inner experience will undoubtedly lead to the knowledge and understandings that truly resonate with our own uniqueness - and then somehow the expression of that uniqueness mysteriously contributes to this interconnected web of all meaning and truth.

Who am I to say such things? 
Hm. Not sure.
The motivation to say such things is to stop the non-sensical repetition of a life script where we are largely pitted against one another, and most sadly, against our 'self'.
If you ask anyone what they truly desire my guess is the answer would be a variation of the word 'happy.'
What is our greatest resource?
Human potential.
Where is it located?
Most likely not outside of the 'self.'

The Space Between Cause and Effect

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
And then for that reaction there is an action.
And it goes on and on.

So it seems that if we could intentionally shift our thoughts, feelings, and behavior to reflect what is 'good' we could conceivably create a different, or 'good' experience.

Sounds great.
Until we begin to learn how deeply embedded these 'actions' are in the subconscious.
Some scientists say up to 95% of our 'actions' (habits, patterns of behavior) are rooted in the subconscious.

And then scientists start talking about this thing called Epigenetics, which seems to be demonstrating that these subconscious beliefs that drive our habitual responses can be linked back to our ancestry up to seven generations.

So is the question we need to ask: How do we access and undo our subconscious patterning?

A suggestion may be to start by noticing the space between cause and effect.

With students or others that I have talked to about this, I seem to begin by putting my hands together in front of my face. I say something like, 'This is you and your anger." They are enmeshed, no space between the two. In this example the person's identity is linked to anger. Cause and effect are one. Healing, or undoing, is only available in the present moment. Bringing focus to the breath can have this magical quality of present moment experience - linking mind and body.

To simplify a method to create this 'space' between cause and effect, it seems that it would have to begin with belief. A belief in 'something more', a belief that there is a way out. As with my own experience of depression, I remember a moment that I believe to be pivotal in finding the way to freedom. I recall sitting with 'it' and coming to a conclusion that this was my reality and I had to find a way to live with it. Had I not been sitting in the depression in the midst of graduate school, I most likely would have assumed that the clinical explanations in books was the only answer (often a combination of medication and talk therapy - and this is trite because there were other methods available, but in my experience and limited mind capacity at the time I was only drawn to what seemed to make sense according to what I knew).

The experience of depression allowed (forced) me to connect eventually to an inner experience of what was going on. At that moment of (almost) submission, was when I chose to feel good. I knew that I had these amazing, clear moments where I felt that anything was possible and I could do anything - and I knew those brief, inspiring moments were genuine and authentic, not a response to a particular event or activity. I chose (and this was completely on my own, I wasn't reading and understanding all these amazing ideas and insights that I have access to today) to believe that if I had that clarity and peace in the brief and fleeting spaces, then I could invert my experience: I could live from the space of clarity and peace, and perhaps now and then enter the sadness as a fleeting experience.

What begins with belief that 'it' can happen, then needs to become desire - creating an enthusiasm about finding the answers. What motivated my desire to 'feel good' was that if I could figure it out, then I could help others (particularly the teenagers that I had worked with and were so close to my heart).

Depression has a way of stripping you bare of all the external, tangible resources you think are certain to help - or the 'if only' external circumstances that would 'change everything'. Depression pushes you to the edge of a cliff and forces you to scream out and grasp onto the only thing available - faith...a knowing that not knowing is okay. Faith is not found outside of you. Faith can only be attained from within, and then its limitlessness expands beyond you.

Belief attached to desire and enthusiasm, entered into stillness (the present moment), can create that tiniest space between cause and effect. In my experience, I began to notice and observe the sadness as opposed to 'being' the sadness. Going back to my initial example of my hands clasped together, now they separate just the slightest bit. A space is created by expansion. Light enters. Now there is room to flow.

Love = expansion, light, harmony. Now truth has been uncovered. 'Now' is when one's inner journey can begin.

I choose to believe that we don't have to uncover every subconscious part of us. Through belief, desire and enthusiasm, and intentional stillness we can undo the limiting patterns and begin to live in a way that is linked to our 'highest and best'. When we connect to this feeling of expansion, light, and harmony we radiate what is 'good' from the core of our being. Old patterns disintegrate and new patterns emerge that 'feel good'.

We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
- Dave Matthews 'The Space Between'

I took this next quote from Brian Johnson, creator of EnTheos - promoting Optimal Living. I deleted the post...but you could check out his 'Big Ideas' here: http://www.entheos.com/

“All of this is already in you. The great use it. The non-great do not, so they remain the non-great. Decide upon some thing, situation, or condition that you want right now in your present life. Be definite in this decision. Do not limit your decision by investigating the probable reasons why it will never happen. That is the detour to nothing. All false speculations of defeat have to be ruled out of your consciousness. If they enter into the decision for even a fleeting moment, the decision is robbed of authority and the subconscious mind cannot act upon it. You do not need to know how the final result will come to pass. That is the function of the subconscious. It has ways and means that, if they were known, would stagger the intellect.” ~ Raymond Charles Barker from The Power of Decision

Transaction v. Transformation

"Rather than trauma being something that has happened to the child, it mistakenly becomes embedded in the child's identity. The child is then seen as a set of symptoms and behaviors that need to be controlled and managed rather than a person who is an asset to be loved, cherished, and nurtured."

A person is not their diagnosis.

In class this week we discussed the ideas of transactional living and transformational living. This built upon a previous lesson idea that compared the paradigms of love and fear: living from the lens of love considers what is possible; living from the lens of fear considers what isn't possible. These same ideas could be considered as educational paradigms: Transactional education v. Transformational education.

A simplistic comparison - 

Transaction (give and take):A person holds the door open for you and instinctively we say: 'thank you.'

Transformation (a space deeper than the exchange):
You leave the coffee shop and it's cold outside. You realize you don't have your car keys. A person walks out behind you and exclaims: Excuse me! Did you leave your keys? (as they are holding the keys out toward you). And you say: 'Thank you!'

In the transaction we respond in a mechanistic sort of way. In the transformation there is a deeper, more organic recognition; an integrated feeling of gratitude.

Recognizing this difference can open us up to an awareness of reacting to life (cause and effect) and reflecting to life (noticing the pause between cause and effect). Is there a difference between strategic living and living from or as a state of being? Does fear based living lend itself to strategic living? As opposed to love based living which vibrates from a deeper state of being. Jeddah Mali describes this feeling of love as the essence of expansion, light, and harmony.

Working memory is a term used to describe one of many learning attributes. One definition for working memory: the mental scratchpad our brain uses to keep information for several seconds so it can be accessed and manipulated to solve problems, make decisions, and send to long term storage. A poor working memory leads to increased reactivity. Stress affects working memory. ADHD and PTSD affect working memory.

Perhaps using the term 'working memory' is a fancy way of describing or defining this space between cause and effect. When we allow time for stillness and align with mind, body, and spirit we open ourselves up to this feeling of expansiveness that lets us function in the ebb and flow of life. The noticing of this space and this feeling of expansiveness could be considered awareness of 'attention'. So maybe a deficit of attention is contributed to a lack of awareness of this space.

If attention and working memory are the cornerstones to learning, is it wise to practice stillness in schools to open our students up to align with this space? When we approach education from the lens of love we open ourselves up to a deeper trust in the capacity of a human being. As parents and educators, the more we practice 'Self' care (by taking the time for stillness in our own lives) the more we align with our own space; and love becomes a state of being, and exchanges become transforming.

"Forgetting your Self is the greatest injury; all the calamities flow from it. Take care of the most important, the lesser will take care of itself. You do not tidy up a dark room. You open the windows first. Letting in the light makes everything easy. So, let us wait with improving others until we see ourselves as we are and have changed. There is no need to turn round and round in endless questioning; find yourself and everything will fall into its proper place."
-Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Check out this short clip on Purpose with words by Jim Carrey that my brother Dan sent me:

Releasing the Knots

Imagine a long rope that represents the emotional life inside of you. Let’s suggest that ‘emotion’ includes feelings, impulses, thoughts, and sensations (FITS). Let’s also suggest that emotion is ‘energy in motion’; therefore, based on this definition, our FITS are able to move through us as opposed to being a fixed part of our identity. Imagine that this rope is full of knots. The knots all represent faulty beliefs that contribute to our ‘living small’ or being stuck in reactive patterns (or habit loops) that limit us in some way. When we intentionally practice ‘slowing down on the inside’ we begin to notice these patterns and begin to create some space between cause and effect that will continue to grow the more we practice this ‘noticing’, or self awareness. It is in this space between cause and effect where find our personal power. Access to this space is where the teacher of this ‘space’ is no longer needed, and your own journey begins.

The rope and the knots live in a dance of control and resistance. The two are interchangeable. As we react to the FITS with fear (activating the stress response - fight, flight, freeze, faint) we have done nothing to release the knot, and most likely our big reactions have tightened the knot or made a new knot. If neural circuitry makes sense to you, imagine these knots as neural connections. We continue to deepen and reinforce the pathways in our brain that are contributing to that which limits us. It seems that we often hear ‘fight or flight’ and we intellectualize the concept of reactive stress patterns, yet we are not connecting this idea into how our life is actually playing out (varying degrees of anxiety, depression, thoughts of harm toward our self or another, illness, relationship struggles, self hate, hatred toward others, etc.). 

As I have gotten older, I noticed shame about the reactive patterns being added to the rope of knots. I saw the patterns, yet didn’t see my own response-ability to undo the knots. When the same reactive patterns continued to hit I was angry at myself for not ‘growing up’ or staying stuck: “How stupid can I be doing the same thing for twenty years!” What I have learned is that it is just a reactive loop. When that pattern comes back (my big realization came when the words ‘I hate you’ came into my mind - the first reaction was feeling childish and shamed that I was stuck in such a silly way of dealing with life) it is a clue to tap into your personal power. I suddenly realized that the 'I hate you' statement was my cue to undo the knot! 

If the FITS are energy in motion (e-motion) then the ‘emotion’ really just wants to make its way through us (like weather patterns) - to be allowed to flow. We keep the energy stuck (holding onto the knot) by trying to control it or resist it - reacting to it in some way. Sadly, we take on various ‘strategies’ to do this and we are convinced the ‘strategy’ is healthy and honorable - the ‘right thing to do’. The disconnect is that what lies at the core of our well-being is a healthy ‘state of being’ as opposed to finding the right strategy. The paradigm shift goes from outer to inner when we recognize 

that the key to our awakening lies in the I Am space - our inner connection to the infinite flow of inspiration, creativity, and possibility that is unique to all of us. The I Am space is just something I call it...this is a place that we all have access to. It’s the place that we came from and where we will return to. The reason I call it ‘I Am’ is because when we choose to live from this space, existing is enough. There is no need to fill in the space after I Am and live from an identity we assume for our self. I Am. (enough)

As we practice slowing down, we begin to notice the space between cause and effect. It’s in this space where we can be intentional about ‘releasing’ or letting go of the rope. Imagine control and resistance in a tug-of-war each time we get stuck in reactive loops. When we ‘release’ either control or resistance, that end of the rope drops and the knot is loosened and able to come undone. Consider the space where release can take place as a reflective state. We can all relate to what it feels like when the rope has dropped and the knots are loosened. What I think happens to most of us it that we settle for the loose feeling and we crave whatever it is that brings us into this state. What we don’t realize is that when we are in this state, we have the power to undo the knot forever by intentionally letting go of the ‘story’ and allowing and letting go of the energy by letting it flow instead of keeping it stuck by trying to control or resist it. The ‘story’ has been created in our mind. The mind has a box around it. When we live from the mind space we limit ourself because the mind is limited to only what we know. When we intentionally choose to live from our heart space or the deeper I Am space, we have opened our self up to the unlimited or abundant flow of inspiration, possibility, and creativity. We can choose to live in a reflective space as a 'state of being' as opposed to relying on an external strategy that lends itself to the reflective space only on a temporary basis.

Have patience with all things, but first with yourself. Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being. You’re a perfectly valuable, creative, worthwhile person simply because you exist. And no amount of triumphs and tribulations can ever change that. Unconditional self-acceptance is the core of a peaceful mind.

~ St. Francis de Sales