Imagine a long rope that represents the emotional life inside of you. Let’s suggest that ‘emotion’ includes feelings, impulses, thoughts, and sensations (FITS). Let’s also suggest that emotion is ‘energy in motion’; therefore, based on this definition, our FITS are able to move through us as opposed to being a fixed part of our identity. Imagine that this rope is full of knots. The knots all represent faulty beliefs that contribute to our ‘living small’ or being stuck in reactive patterns (or habit loops) that limit us in some way. When we intentionally practice ‘slowing down on the inside’ we begin to notice these patterns and begin to create some space between cause and effect that will continue to grow the more we practice this ‘noticing’, or self awareness. It is in this space between cause and effect where find our personal power. Access to this space is where the teacher of this ‘space’ is no longer needed, and your own journey begins.
The rope and the knots live in a dance of control and resistance. The two are interchangeable. As we react to the FITS with fear (activating the stress response - fight, flight, freeze, faint) we have done nothing to release the knot, and most likely our big reactions have tightened the knot or made a new knot. If neural circuitry makes sense to you, imagine these knots as neural connections. We continue to deepen and reinforce the pathways in our brain that are contributing to that which limits us. It seems that we often hear ‘fight or flight’ and we intellectualize the concept of reactive stress patterns, yet we are not connecting this idea into how our life is actually playing out (varying degrees of anxiety, depression, thoughts of harm toward our self or another, illness, relationship struggles, self hate, hatred toward others, etc.).
As I have gotten older, I noticed shame about the reactive patterns being added to the rope of knots. I saw the patterns, yet didn’t see my own response-ability to undo the knots. When the same reactive patterns continued to hit I was angry at myself for not ‘growing up’ or staying stuck: “How stupid can I be doing the same thing for twenty years!” What I have learned is that it is just a reactive loop. When that pattern comes back (my big realization came when the words ‘I hate you’ came into my mind - the first reaction was feeling childish and shamed that I was stuck in such a silly way of dealing with life) it is a clue to tap into your personal power. I suddenly realized that the 'I hate you' statement was my cue to undo the knot!
If the FITS are energy in motion (e-motion) then the ‘emotion’ really just wants to make its way through us (like weather patterns) - to be allowed to flow. We keep the energy stuck (holding onto the knot) by trying to control it or resist it - reacting to it in some way. Sadly, we take on various ‘strategies’ to do this and we are convinced the ‘strategy’ is healthy and honorable - the ‘right thing to do’. The disconnect is that what lies at the core of our well-being is a healthy ‘state of being’ as opposed to finding the right strategy. The paradigm shift goes from outer to inner when we recognize
that the key to our awakening lies in the I Am space - our inner connection to the infinite flow of inspiration, creativity, and possibility that is unique to all of us. The I Am space is just something I call it...this is a place that we all have access to. It’s the place that we came from and where we will return to. The reason I call it ‘I Am’ is because when we choose to live from this space, existing is enough. There is no need to fill in the space after I Am and live from an identity we assume for our self. I Am. (enough)
As we practice slowing down, we begin to notice the space between cause and effect. It’s in this space where we can be intentional about ‘releasing’ or letting go of the rope. Imagine control and resistance in a tug-of-war each time we get stuck in reactive loops. When we ‘release’ either control or resistance, that end of the rope drops and the knot is loosened and able to come undone. Consider the space where release can take place as a reflective state. We can all relate to what it feels like when the rope has dropped and the knots are loosened. What I think happens to most of us it that we settle for the loose feeling and we crave whatever it is that brings us into this state. What we don’t realize is that when we are in this state, we have the power to undo the knot forever by intentionally letting go of the ‘story’ and allowing and letting go of the energy by letting it flow instead of keeping it stuck by trying to control or resist it. The ‘story’ has been created in our mind. The mind has a box around it. When we live from the mind space we limit ourself because the mind is limited to only what we know. When we intentionally choose to live from our heart space or the deeper I Am space, we have opened our self up to the unlimited or abundant flow of inspiration, possibility, and creativity. We can choose to live in a reflective space as a 'state of being' as opposed to relying on an external strategy that lends itself to the reflective space only on a temporary basis.
As we practice slowing down, we begin to notice the space between cause and effect. It’s in this space where we can be intentional about ‘releasing’ or letting go of the rope. Imagine control and resistance in a tug-of-war each time we get stuck in reactive loops. When we ‘release’ either control or resistance, that end of the rope drops and the knot is loosened and able to come undone. Consider the space where release can take place as a reflective state. We can all relate to what it feels like when the rope has dropped and the knots are loosened. What I think happens to most of us it that we settle for the loose feeling and we crave whatever it is that brings us into this state. What we don’t realize is that when we are in this state, we have the power to undo the knot forever by intentionally letting go of the ‘story’ and allowing and letting go of the energy by letting it flow instead of keeping it stuck by trying to control or resist it. The ‘story’ has been created in our mind. The mind has a box around it. When we live from the mind space we limit ourself because the mind is limited to only what we know. When we intentionally choose to live from our heart space or the deeper I Am space, we have opened our self up to the unlimited or abundant flow of inspiration, possibility, and creativity. We can choose to live in a reflective space as a 'state of being' as opposed to relying on an external strategy that lends itself to the reflective space only on a temporary basis.
Have patience with all things, but first with yourself. Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being. You’re a perfectly valuable, creative, worthwhile person simply because you exist. And no amount of triumphs and tribulations can ever change that. Unconditional self-acceptance is the core of a peaceful mind.
~ St. Francis de Sales