Hi Blog. This blog follows three prior blogs titled 'Considering...'. Speaking of which, my dad was reading out loud the titles of the blogs on the phone to me (nothing like hearing: 'I am SO excited to be writing....I am SO excited to be...I am SO...in a comical tone - insert humility that only family can provide). So, as he is reading the titles out loud, kind of under his breath...'Considering...'...'Considering'....'Considering'...he then says a bit louder 'Why consider...just do it'. I'd like to think that he was missing the context of what the blogs were written about. So today I am purposely dropping the 'Considering' as I discuss the absolute necessity of self care. "We can't give from an empty vessel or drink from an empty well. When we walk this earth with a light heart and a joyful spirit, we bring a special radiance wherever we go." I can think of countless examples where this concept of self care has been so overlooked (self care might just be synonymous with overlooked - or guilt). Mindfulness practice has changed my life and has in turn been the most effective skill I have yet to teach to teens. When persons have asked me: 'What is mindfulness?', I usually get through the first part of a sentence ('So glad you asked, mindfulness is being still...') and then I am promptly interrupted and given the wave of the hand, 'Oh I could never do that, I am always thinking'. If you work with young people that are having a difficult time with existence in general, and you ask 'do you sleep well?' - the answer is almost always the same as they give you the wide eyed look, 'No...I can't stop thinking'. Mindfulness practice may be a term, and there may be some specific ways to practice (so that the clinical people can publish research) - however, I can be mindful (present) while drinking my hot caffeine in the morning (duality of speeding up to slow down - ha)...walking my dog....taking a shower...having a conversation - it's simply being present to life in the moment.... Noticing the beloved coffee mug in your hand...listening to the slurp tones...feeling the familiar warmth as it fills your body...ahhhhhh - I'm fairly certain that morning coffee is not included in the clinical studies. Mindfulness also seems to have a natural place in a school setting (if teacher's 'mind' is on an early morning argument with spouse and student is concentrating on attractive other that they walked by in the hallway before class, how present are we to teach and to learn?) - "Mindfulness is training the muscle of attention." A mental health provider sent out an email toward the end of the year to all MH providers: 'Does anyone have the information on self care that I can forward to all staff?'. I'm certain what this person was looking for was a list of specific resources for joining health clubs, yoga classes, weight loss, etc.. Of course I found the email to be comical and telling...do we really need a list of ways to take care of our'self'? It's the same as listening to coworkers discuss how much they worked that week (the tone is often one of acceptance - or submission - that we 'work' at the expense of all else because that's just the way it is). Several of us were asked to present to the staff information on how to handle grief in the classroom. I chose to talk about self care with the idea that if we learn to be present to life then it has the potential to offer clarity in difficult or uncomfortable situations (to be present with others and self when we hurt, to know when we need to seek help or take time off, to feel our feelings rather than think our feelings...). Perhaps we can all encourage one another as we offer compassion toward our'self' - we cannot give something away that we don't have. Let's not consider taking care of our'self'....let's do it.
Self Reflection questions:
1. Is there evidence in your life of the persons you are closest to are also the persons who understand you and appreciate you the least? Yes or no, why is that?
2. Is there someone in your life whose lifestyle and attitude embody the quote: "We can't give from an empty vessel or drink from an empty well. When we walk this earth with a light heart and a joyful spirit, we bring a special radiance wherever we go." What strategies and skills does this person allow for in his/her life? Could you allow for similar strategies and skills in your own life? Would you? If so, when?
3. How do you define self care? Is the definition different for your own self than it is for others? Yes or no, why is that?
4. How do you seek time for stillness in your own life? Could you create space and time to draw attention to breath and simply be in the moment for some time each day? Would you? If so, when?
5. Create three opportunities to spend time with your 'self' today. Do it.
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