Let's assume that you and I are having lunch together. Let's also assume that one of the reasons we decided to get together was because you feel 'stuck'...a general state of feeling dissatisfied and unsure of what options you have to get 'unstuck'. So at this lunch, I look at you and ask you: "What do you really want?" Your immediate reaction is to answer my question, yet as you try to speak you (once again) are 'stuck'...you assumed you had a ready answer for the question...you don't.
My experience is that most of us assume we know what we want but we really haven't given the idea much conscious thought. Perhaps the reason we continue to lead lives that may include too much distraction and subtle dissatisfaction is partly due to this unexamined idea of: What do I really want?
The third lesson in the I Am curriculum examines this question: What do I really want? The students begin with a mindfulness practice that brings their awareness into the present moment. 'I heal and grow in the present moment.' You may do this at home by taking three breaths and repeating the following to yourself: 'I breathe in I follow my in breath...I breathe out I follow my out breath.'
The mindfulness practice is followed by some sort of affirmation or validation of life (song lyrics, poetry, youtube clip, movie reference, artwork, quote, personal experience, etc.). At the elementary level I just started calling this piece: 'I'm okay.' At home you may have all sorts of motivational quotes available for your viewing - have you ever really allowed yourself to consider and imagine the words as a true reflection in your life experience? What would it look like...feel like...to live the art we showcase?
Following the affirmation are connecting questions that get the students to consider related ideas that contribute toward the life skill (What do I really want? is basically a version of goal setting which is the 'life skill' being taught). At the end of this post are three considerations that may be helpful to entertain in this little segment. You can create guiding questions that allow you to reflect on the ideas presented.
It's a bit difficult to design this blog for a broad audience. Obviously I want to engage others who teach social and emotional learning. However, social and emotional learning is helpful for all persons. Setting aside some time in stillness each day to consider ideas that contribute to one's self development is a good idea. The I Am curriculum could easily be used as a guide for personal self reflection or it could be a 'dinner table' tool for families.
As a class activity, we take our idea of what we really want and break it down to something that is intangible - 'I want to feel a sense of freedom within my self', 'a sense of calm in my being', 'inner peace', etc. Next we look for images in magazines that represent this desire and glue them onto paper or cardboard - or onto a folder that collects other class activities as well. Vision boards tend to be somewhat popular and the reason is they work! We are bringing an awareness of what we want into our consciousness. Have you ever bought a new car and then notice that particular car everywhere? Have you ever been in love (infatuated may be a better term here) and see 'look-a-likes' everywhere? 'What we think about we bring about.' This vision board can become part of your mindfulness practice. Use your senses to create or imagine the 'wish fulfilled.' Wishes Fulfilled is a book by Wayne Dyer which I haven't read yet. I do have a quote on my personal vision board by Dr Dyer that reads: 'Make your future dream a present fact by assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled.'
A few other considerations:
Let's assume that all persons want to feel a sense of belonging and a feeling of significance. These ideas are in a book called 'Positive Discipline' by Jane Nelson (I think the first edition was in the 80's - a friend suggested this book to me as I began working with younger students this school year). The book is referring to children wanting to feel a sense of belonging and significance...I assume that is the same for all persons.
Can you feel these statements as truth within your being:
'I Am. Capable.'
'I contribute in meaningful ways and I am genuinely needed.'
'I can influence what happens to me.'
Perhaps you now can consider the original question from a deeper space...What do you really want?
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